Yeah, this time I’m running towards the camera instead of away. This one’s at a different Kid & Kids store, and this one lady’s biting her shirt or something, and this guy’s jackin’ off! Pepsiman gives them Pepsi, and all is well! That is, until the Pepsi truck smashes into you, sending you into a Pepsi billboard with a giant Pepsi can that rolls after you, Indiana Jones style. So finally, you make it to the rioters who are goin’ ape by this Pepsi machine. Now a moving company is trying to kill Pepsiman, too?! They’re just drivin’ with the truck wide open, launching furniture at ‘im! That’s someone’s furniture! Imagine if you hire a moving company to load up all your furniture, and you get to the new house, and then it arrives… the van is empty, and you’re like “Hey, where the hell’s all my furniture?” And they say “Oh yeah, yeah, we saw Pepsiman on the way over” “and, uh, we had to just chuck it all at ’em. If you were riding a skateboard down the hills and crashed into a trolley, you’d be dead. The controls feel stiff, and one hit kills you. augh! Oh, dude, dude, your breath! It smells like tooth decay! Why don’t the people go to this one at the Kid & Kids store instead of rioting like a bunch of Pepsi-crazed freaks? And why does Pepsiman buy a Pepsi when he just collected 94 Pepsis? And why can’t I go one goddamn sentence without saying Pepsi?! Mm-hmm, that’s enough for me, this game’s too monotonous. Yeah… Finally, I get to the end of the level, and he buys a Pepsi from a vending machine. Here, you crash through a shed and end up with a trash can on your head, which makes your controls opposite. This part reminds me of the chase scene in Raising Arizona, but instead of Nicolas Cage, it’s Pepsiman, and instead of Huggies, it’s Pepsis. Hell, he’ll even run right into you, and send you flyin’ through your kitchen wall! That guy’s probably dead. So, Pepsiman runs around, collecting Pepsi while dodging cars, pedestrians, pogo jackhammer s, chuds, and this garbage man who’s being an asshole! Look, they wait for him at the intersection, and then start launching garbage out the truck! Dicks! Pepsiman doesn’t give any s either. “There are a bunch of people gathered in front of the vending machine! They want Pepsi!” “And the word is that they’re just about to riot!” Really? They’ll riot? Why is Pepsi such a big deal here? Is that one vending machine the only place to get a Pepsi in this town? I mean, there’s Pepsi… everywhere, it’s laying all over the streets! You can get one anywhere!
#Pepsi man video game intro driver#
“Hey, let’s start the game!” So, the first level starts off with Pepsiman meeting a truck driver with a flat tire. I bet his bowel movements are like tar and colon foam. He’s not cool at all! He doesn’t make me want to drink a Pepsi! Makes me want to drink a in’ beer! What?! I said… it makes me want to drink a in’ beer! Oh, come on! Alright. The hell’s wrong with this mascot? Chester Cheetah was cool, Cool Spot had “cool” in his name, but Pepsiman? Next we see Pepsiman running down a street to nowhere, as he crashes face-first into the game’s logo. Okay, so is… Pepsiman… in the can now? I- I don’t even get it, I mean, th- this is in’ stupid, I’m not playing Okay, okay! I’ll play it! I’ll play it. As he drinks it, you hear the shrill shriek of Pepsiman set to surf music. The intro starts with this live action cutscene of a guy buying a Pepsi. I recommend the online progressive jackpot slots at Casinoslots SA. I am a real player, I prefer video games, online games, online casino games.
Well, in the chance that you were lookin’ forward to Cool Spot or Yo! Noid, can’t play ’em, because they’re all Pepsiman now. That’s very interesting, but I have other junk food games I could play, like Cool Spot! Ugh, come on! Oh well, I could always play Chester Cheetah! Ugh! Well, how about… Big Bumpin’? Ugh, man… how about… Kool-Aid Man? God damn it, you silly ! I don’t want to play Pepsiman! Okay, geez! I’ll play Pepsiman.
Never seen that before! You lose to unlock a character? Well, thanks Pepsiman. To unlock him, all you gotta do is lose the first fight. He even starred in his own video game, and was also featured as an unlockable character in the Japanese version of Fighting Vipers for the Sega Saturn. Even though he was only marketed in Japan, all his commercials take place in the USA.
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